I'M STARVING AND YET SOME PEOPLE CHOOSE TO STARVE

I would like to give props to anorexics. People may think you're crazy but I think you have a whole lot more will power than most. These girls and a few homosexual men are able to do something that I in the past two days have been incapable of doing. Now I know you're thinking: What? Is she really recommending eating disorders? Who does she think she is...well here's who I think I am. I am a girl who is out of insulin and going crazy!
I love my insurance company (insert sarcasm). To make a long story short, unless I want to pay $200 for my insulin, I have to wait until July 1st to get any. So for the last few days I have been rationing my insulin. For those of you that don't that much about diabetes just know that I have to take insulin all day long and then take it every time I eat carbohydrates. So being the math genius that I am I figured that I have enough insulin to last me until Monday night if I don't eat anything. Well anything is a stretch, but I can't eat anything with carbs.
Those of you who have done the Atkins diet probably think I'm a wuss but I say whoa hold onto your condescension for just a second and realize that this is life or death here. I am going to DIE if I eat too many carbs while you will only be adding (insert favorite pastry here) onto your meat filled gadunkadunk.
Eating no carbs is not only humiliating (picture me last night at a family birthday party watching people load delicious sugary candy bar topped chocolate cake onto their plates and then salivating like Pavlov's dogs with each bite they take) but it is also close to impossible to avoid. They're everywhere. Carbohydrates are the plague of the earth and eventually they are going to get me too.
I keep going to my kitchen when the small and slowly dimming light bulb in my head goes off. Ahh peanut butter has no carbs I think. Wrong! I swear I can hear the buzzer go off each time I reach for something and realize nope, can't eat that either. BZZZZZ gotcha sucker it says! So what else, what else, I search through my pantry and find cereal, pasta, fruit, flour, bread, corn, the list goes on and still there is nothing that I can eat. I move on to my fridge, but alas it is an oasis of disappointment. There are hundreds of condiments, but really how good is a bowl full of ranch, salsa, ketchup, soy sauce and mayonnaise without some chips to dip it in?
So in case you're still wondering what I have been eating, here is a list of what I've had the last two days:
Breakfast: bacon and eggs (you're thinking I'm a whiner, that sounds good right? Keep reading.)
Lunch: Diet Mt. Dew and a Diet Dr. Pepper
Snack: Crystal Light
Dinner: a small piece of chicken and some lettuce
Dessert: water
Breakfast: nothing
Snack: I couldn't resist and stole a pretzel from my child during church (I'm sure I'm paying for it right now).
Lunch: 1 hot dog no bun and a Large gallon of Crystal Light
Dinner: who knows, but I'm going to my in-laws for dinner and I'm sure I'll be stuck standing around sniffing the food cursing the day my stupid auto-immune disease attacked my body and destroyed my freaking pancreas! Seriously you never realize how much you love something until it leaves or is destroyed by your own cells!
So I hope you're all having a lovely Sunday, spending time with the carbohydrates in your life and praising the Lord that your pancreas works and your husband works for a large company with great insurance or you are poor enough or old enough to qualify for government assistance!