If you've ever eaten dinner at my house, you're not likely to do it again after reading this post.
All of my cooking utensils: measuring cups, spatula, mixing bowls, leather whip (whoaa sorry that's a bedroom toy--NOT-- I'm just checking to see if you're still reading) but you know the basics, are stored in my pantry thanks to a lack of cupboard space in my kitchen. My sweet son loves pretending like he's cooking. He gets out a bowl and the whire wisk and spends hours copying mommy. Like the good mother that I am, at the end of the day I chuck everything he's been playing with back in the box in the pantry. No you germaphobes, I don't wash them every time. I'm not rich like you fancy pants who can afford to flush the toilet after every use and wash a spoon every time your kid sticks it in his mouth. I've got bills to pay and I can't afford these luxuries...until now. It's time to cut out some of the necessities like cable and donut runs because something so disturbing has happened that I must find the means to run my dishwasher after every playdate with the pantry.
My son came walking into the kitchen with a spatula. Not unusual. I went to take it from him to take the cookies off the tray when my friend shouts at me that I might not want to use it! Why I ask? The dust from under the couch doesn't phase me. The saliva from an 18 month old won't stop me. But this did! My son had been stirring the toilet water with the spatula.
Suddenly it all made sense. The wet whire wisk, the slimy measuring cup, the cutting board lying in the bathroom. All this time, I'd been blaming the wet utensils on teething, but no, this was much worse, it was the toilet! Stop gagging for a minute and think back to the last time you cleaned your toilet. I couldn't remember. I usually waited until there was a yellow pee ring or someone had left skid marks in the toilet before I got out the ol' brush. My 2000 Flushes Blue had seen way more miles than the recommended 2,000 so it was no use.
So I did it. I swallowed my pride, loaded my dishwasher, and decided to blog about it so that the world can see my sin, scourge me, and rescind my invitation to dinner.
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4 comments:
I wondered when I would see this post. Too funny. So glad you are a mom!:) Tell Atticus hi for us. We miss you guys.
LOL this is too funny.
here is something along these same lines: i once watched my father-in-law grab a pancake turner to go pick up the mess the dog made in the laundry room. he nonchalantly rinsed it and put it in the DW. WTH?! so after the cycle had gone through, i insisted they put it back in. and then when it went through again, i said it needed to go through a third time. they refused, so i confiscated it, wrote POOP on it in big letters, and bought them a new one. it's been a few years, and i'm still squeamish about eating pancakes at their place. i'm not a total germophobe. i'll pick up a binky off the ground and put it in my baby's mouth, but using a spatula that has touched actual poop? i have to draw the line somewhere.
Um...I've eaten at your house! Haha! But then I have one year old twins - I'm sure more than pantry items have been swished around in my toilet and I haven't figured it out yet!
Hills, I love your posts. I especially love that the last two (sans the one about the family blog) have something to do with POOP!! I can't stop laughing at the picture of the dog picking up his own turds! Priceless.
BTW, can leather whips go in the dishwasher? Mine is getting too sticky from the cool whip if you know what i mean.
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